Day 11: Talk about your siblings
I am the youngest of three. My sister is the oldest, 8 years older than me. My brother is 6 years apart from me. Actually, we were supposed to be siblings of 5. There were two brothers before my sister, but sadly they either passed away or my mom had miscarriages. Sometimes I wonder, how would it be like if I had another brothers? Would they be as indifferent as my brother, or would they be warm and attentive like what people with no brother wished for? Would they be introverts like us? One thing I know for sure, it’d be hectic.
Currently, my brother’s living away from us, far away in Bandung. Oh yeah, I have one sister-in-law, my brother’s wife. My sister still lives with us, but she sometimes resides in another house which used to be my brother’s house. So sometimes, there are really just me and my parents at home. It feels serene, but also weird sometimes from all the absences.
I happen to know that all of us are introverts. Not sure about my in-law, though. I kept thinking could it be because of the upbringing? Or just the outside environments that makes us introverts? We didn’t talk much. Really. Moreso with my brother. He’s that kind of laidback and indifferent, actions speak louder than words. Ever since we were still in the same house, we didn’t talk much. There were times when there’s hamster around that we communicates, but just around the hamster. Other than that, probably around games, or when I asked him to pick me up. After he got married, I barely talked to him at all.
Meanwhile with my sister, we chatted a lot. Again, around pets, this time cats. Just us sending pictures of cats, with language that wouldn’t be understood by others (and potentially brings laughter). We never took selfies together like other siblings do. We hide each other on Instagram, we didn’t keep up with updates (to me, because I don’t want them to see my outside-home persona and I think they felt the same way). Sometimes I feel like it’s so weird. Like, all siblings on Instagram always posted about each other, commented on each other’s post, and seem so close.
But actually, there are lots of siblings like us outside, too! It made me feel a bit relieved. Not everything on Instagram should be the standard of every relationship, including siblings relationship. I may not talk frequently with my siblings, but that’s what we’ve been for all my life and let’s say… I don’t mind at all? Who I’m feeling awkward is with my in-law. I didn’t contact her frequently as well, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m keeping a distance. I’m not, but it’s also weird to communicate with her, like my brother would know and idk it just feels awkward…I hope she doesn’t mind.
Actually I’m more open talking about friendships, rather than family relationships. I don’t know, did I get insecure because my family’s relationship is unlike any others, especially “the Instagrammable”? Or am I just a closed person when it comes to family matters? Well, remains to be seen. Good night!