The Year of Acceptance

The title quite sums up my 2022. I accepted and let go a lot of things. Looking back to my past journal (I think it’s the letter I wrote to myself) the past me expected the future me to be in two different alternatives: 1) Getting what I wanted back then, or 2) Accepting my current condition. Turns out, the universe prefers the latter. And that’s totally fine with the current me, actually!

2022 was obviously better than 2020 and 2021. That year, I think I discover a little more about myself. If I had to pinpoint the factors contributing, I think it’d be journaling and Bandung.

Because I started journaling again in 2022, I reflected a lot about myself. I knew that even though my achievements seem insignificant compared to others I saw through Instagram stories or LinkedIn, they’re big steps compared to the past me. For example, the 2019 me. Not exactly big steps, but lots of baby steps.

One thing I’m still very amazed myself is how I learned to not give a fudge (how I love this word ahaha) and less overthinking compared to the previous years. I met a very toxic person to the point where I’m still wondering how could there be a person be like that. I don’t like them, and I know that they don’t like me too. I don’t care about them. I don’t want to ever crossed a path with them again. So when I found out that they talked bad about me, I laughed it off because I expected it, really. But that fact made me not wanting to engage with them anymore, although actually I still have business with them. They didn’t reach out to me either. I may as well log off from their life.

In 2022, I started to take less-waste lifestyle more seriously. At first, I go hard trying to live a perfect zero waste lifestyle. Of course, I got drained out… So I’m trying the baby step approach again.

Another life-changing event this year was Bandung. For the first time in my life, I left my home for the longest time (a month lol). I learned how it’s like to study far from home, to survive, to organize a lot of things. It’s a fun experience, of course. Although it’s only a month, I get to experience the hard part, which was getting sick. Back then, Bandung was an ideal city in my eyes, the one with most familiar feeling. I still have good impressions about Bandung, but not as “worshipping” as I did back then.

Thanks to that experience, I realized that where I live, where I stand now, is the one that fits me best. The one that I always wanted to run away from. My beautiful city, although the traffic jam and city planning are quite questionable, is still very comfortable to live. A breezy city that has mountains and beaches, not too small but not too big. My college that I never felt proud back then, is actually the dream of so many students. And my home, although it’s modest and unorganized, is still a place that some people yearn.

I’m content with where I am right now. I spent almost a decade wanting to run away from my city, my home, now I have to make up for what I miss.

(I had quite good idea about this topic in my mind, why did I had a slump then?? Lol. May come back to fix this, may not.)